A taste of my writing...

                                                              CHAPTER ONE

   "Maybe you should consider getting a boob job."

   Kelsie Collins paused mid-bite to look up at her mother from across the dinner table; which was, thankfully, tucked away in the far corner of the busy restaurant. "What?"

   Her mother reached for another roll and pat of butter. "They're all the rage now. And it certainly couldn't hurt. According to my latest issue of Redbook----"

   Not another piece of Redbook advice. Kelsie rolled her eyes with a groan, returning the half-eaten extra crispy chicken breast to her plate. "Mom, please..."

   "Now, honey," her mother said as she buttered her roll. "Before you go and get all defensive, I'm not saying anything is wrong with your breasts. You're just naturally small."

   Unlike her mother who was naturally a 'D' cup and had the curves to go with it. Kelsie on the other hand was what her mother lovingly referred to as a petite little pixie. That endearment might have been cute when she was ten, but not now. She didn't want to be reminded that she was a twenty-seven-year old version of Tinkerbell, minus the blonde hair. Hers was a coppery red.

   "B isn't that small," she replied in defense of her push-up bra enhanced attributes.

   Her mother stabbed at her salad. "Let's face it, honey, single women far outnumber the eligible, financially stable, good looking men currently out there on the market."

   If her mother expected her to go into a panic over that tidbit of info, she had another thing coming. A committed relationship was the last thing Kelsie was looking for. Her divorce two years before had seen to that. The problem was getting her mother to accept it.

   Kelsie's father, or biological sperm donor as her mother preferred to refer to him by, had taken off in search of greener pastures the moment he found out his college 'playmate' was pregnant. Her mother never married. Instead, Melinda Collins had taken control of her life, becoming a very successful real estate agent. But the main focus in her life was Kelsie. Melinda was determined that her daughter have the happily-ever-after she'd never had.

   Unfortunately for her mother, Kelsie's divorce had thrown a rather large kink in her mother's plans for her daughter's future.

   "So enlarging my breasts will make me a better catch for a man why?"

   "As if I really need to answer that," her mother said, shaking her head in pure motherly fashion, despite the oddity of their conversation. "If two women are walking toward you up the sidewalk, one with large breasts, the other somewhat lacking, which would you notice first?"

   "Neither," Kelsie replied. "I'm not a lesbian."

   "I know that. I'm talking hypothetically. As in if you were a man," her mother explained as she reached for her glass of ice tea.

   "I suppose I would notice the one with the nicest smile." She was after all a dental hygienist. Nice teeth were important to her.

   "What if neither of them is smiling?"

   "I am not getting fake boobs!" Kelsie blurted out in complete exasperation. "I'm happy just the way I am, and the next man I marry will like me for me, not try and change me like Kyle wanted to do!"

   Her mother's eyes lit up like a hungry cat in a fish market. "The next man you marry?"

   Had she really just screamed that in a crowded restaurant?

   Kelsie wanted to pull the words back as soon as they shot out of her mouth. She didn't want another husband. She'd gone that route once and didn't intend to travel it ever again. A non-committal fling would be all right, if she ever found a guy she wanted to commit to non-committally.

   But one look at the smile that crossed her matchmaking mother's face told her she was in big trouble.

* * *

   Kelsie checked her watch again then returned to tapping her nails on the polished wood of the bar top. Her mother managed to stress her out more than P.M.S. ever did. Most of it was the gleam of 'I cant wait for you to give me grandbabies' she saw in her mother's eyes when she'd hugged her good bye.

   "If ditching bad dates was an Olympic sport, you'd take the gold."

   Smiling, Kelsie spun around on her stool to greet her best friend, Nanci. "And if being late was an Olympic sport..."

   "All right, all right." Her friend plopped her purse atop the bar as she settled onto the stool next to Kelsie's. "So I gave in to the urge to make a quick run through the mall after work. Sidewalk sale."

   No wonder she was late. There was no such thing as a quick mall run for Nanci when sales were involved. "Buy anything? Or do I even have to ask?"

   "Shoes."

   "Why doesn't that surprise me? I'm beginning to think you should consider seeking therapy for this shoe obsession you have." Kelsie reached for her wild berry wine cooler, bringing it to her lips.

   "I've got a ways to go before I catch up to Imelda Marcos. Now, my shoe fetish aside, how's the man-hater book coming along?"

   Nanci was referring to the one Kelsie was in the process of writing. It was a how-to book for women who find themselves out on a date from hell and in desperate need of an escape plan; which included every date Kelsie had gone on since her divorce two years before.

   "It's not a man-hater book," Kelsie said in defense of her brainchild as she returned her drink to the bar coaster and reached for a handful of popcorn in the napkin-lined basket beside it. "It's a bad date survival guide."

   Nanci shook her head. "When are you going to realize not every guy is like Kyle?"

   "You mean a complete and utter asshole?" And that was being charitable as far as her ex was concerned. Kyle was a self-absorbed, skirt chasing...

   "Speaking of men in your past. What happened with Gym-Boy last night? You didn't leave any details on my answering machine, just that you'd ditched him. No sparks between the two of you, huh?"

   "There were, but they weren't coming from me." Kelsie reached into her purse for her lip gloss. "It seems Gym-Boy has a thing for souped-up cars. Only this one wasn't up, it was down, dragging its ass end everywhere we went. We must have looked like a giant sparkler on wheels."

   "Poor you." Nanci laughed then looked around. "Nice place."

   Kelsie nodded. "I pass it on my way to work everyday. Thought we'd give it a try."

   Nanci motioned the bartender over and, with her usual flirty smile, ordered herself a draft. "Oh, and another wild berry for my friend here."

   "I haven't finished this one yet."

   "You will."

   When he walked away to get their drinks, Nanci turned in her chair to face her. "Okay, I'm dying to know. How did you get out of this latest date disaster?"

   "When we stopped for gas and he went in to pay," Kelsie explained as she dabbed on her lip gloss, "I leaned across to the driver side and pressed my lips to his window."

   "You kissed his window?"

   Kelsie nodded with a grin. "Multiple times."

   "Strange behavior, even for you. But what does that have to do with escaping that date?"

   "Are you kidding? The second he saw my lip prints smudged all over his precious car's window he freaked. And when I told him I intended to leave 'love kisses' all over his car, he made a spark trailing bee-line straight back to my apartment, ending our date with some kind of excuse about having to go check in on his ailing grandmother. Which, by the way, I added to my list of date ending excuses."

   "I have to hand it to you. You are without a doubt the queen of date escapes. I just hope you realize we're running out of places to hang out in this town."

   "I haven't dumped that many men," she protested even though she knew Nanci was only giving her a hard time; something she loved to do. When Kelsie first started her bad date survival guide, they both agreed to steer clear of places the men she dumped liked to hang out. That meant trying out new bars and dance clubs all the time; which had actually worked out great for Nanci who also liked to collect men.

   The bartender returned with their drinks and set them down on the counter in front of them. Nanci dug into her purse for her money, then handed him a ten. "Oh, and my email addy's on the back of it just in case."

   "Just in case he's looking for a horny woman?" Kelsie muttered as the now grinning bartender moved down the bar to the cash resister.

   Nanci turned to her, but only after she'd checked out 'Joe' bartender's ass. "You are so bad."

   Her? "You must be confusing me with all the dates I've gone on."

   Nanci eyed her newly manicured nails, tsk-ing as she did so. Then her gaze returned to Kelsie. "When are you going to accept the fact that no man is perfect? Though I will be the first to admit you've dated a few losers. Mostly those picked by your mother."

   Her mother's choice in men for her was...nauseating. That was the nicest way to put it. Any man who was single and could give her lots and lots of grandchildren was fair game.

   Kelsie sighed. "I've told you before. I'm not looking for perfect."

   "No. You aren't looking for anything at all," her friend pointed out. "And before you give me the old 'I''ve tried' story, remember this is me you're talking to."

   "I don't know what you're talking about."

   Nanci sipped at her beer. "Need I point out that since your divorce you have been determined to find something wrong with every guy you date?"

   Maybe so. But she wasn't about to lose herself in a relationship again, and finding men's faults before that happened kept her heart safe.

   Kelsie finished off the last of her wine cooler, then reached for the one Nanci had just bought for her. "I may not be looking for a long term commitment, but that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to be choosy."

   "Ah, come on, Kelsie. You know I nag because I want you to be happy."

   "You sound like my mother. She was so distraught over the break up of my marriage you would have thought she was the one getting the divorce."

   "I think your mother wants more for you than she had. That's why she pushes so hard."

   "Pushes hard is an understatement." Kelsie shoved her lip gloss back into her purse. "Did I tell you she propositioned a guy in the meat market at Kroger the other day?"

   "That's good, isn't it? If she's preoccupied in her own life----"

   "For me!"

   "What?"

   "She asked if he'd be interested in going out with her single, very attractive daughter," Kelsie replied with a roll of her eyes. "Apparently he purchased a small order of really 'big' sausages which my mother took to mean he was both single and sexually confident."

   "Oh, God," Nanci groaned.

   "Oh, God is right."

   "He said yes?"

   "No. He told her he was gay."

   Her friend snorted; nearly choking on the drink of beer she'd just taken. "Hey, there's another excuse for your list." "I never thought of that," Kelsie said, digging for her notepad.

   Suddenly Nanci grabbed for her arm. "Ooh, ooh!"

   Pausing in her search, Kelsie looked up at her. "Another idea?"

   "No." Her friend leaned closer in an urgent whisper, "I've just discovered the next Hunk of the Year centerfold."

   "What?"

   Nanci pointed past her toward the door.

   Twisting around on the bar stool, Kelsie discovered the cause of her best friend's sudden need for a drool bib. There, in the doorway of Casey's Bar and Grill was the closest thing she'd ever seen to a Greek god in Columbus, Ohio.

   Only instead of wearing a toga and a crown of gold leaves, he was dressed in tight fitting jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and a short sleeve, navy blue t-shirt that said Worthington Fire Department across the front of it in stark white letters. His dark hair was worn short with just a hint of sideburns that blended into the five o'clock shadow on his jaw.

   "Mmm...mmm," her friend mumbled behind her. "I'm actually tempted to climb a tree and pretend I'm stuck."

   Nanci wasn't the only one.